1987 THE GUITAR WORLD ACCORDING TO FRANK ZAPPA CASSETTE RARE GUITAR WORLD CASSETTE AVAILABLE BY MAIL ORDER ONLY Start Price USD 55.00 Current Price USD 55.00 Time Left - Bid Count 2 Buy It Now Price - Reserve Price - Start Time Friday, July 04, 2008 End Time Monday, July 14, 2008 Location POOTERSVILLE, MARYLAND See more about '1987 THE GUITAR WORLD ACCORDING TO FRANK ZAPPA CASSETTE' Description JUNE 2ND 1987 - THE GUITAR WORLD ACCORDING TO FRANK ZAPPA - RARE ORIGINAL FRANK ZAPPA GUITAR SOLOS CASSETTE - WAS AVAILABLE BY MAIL ORDER ONLY IN 1987 FROM GUITAR WORLD MAGAZINE - HAS NEVER BEEN REISSUED - THIS OFFICIAL FACTORY MADE AND RELEASED CASSETTE TAPE WAS THE SOURCE FOR SINISTER BOOTLEG LPS SUCH AS " GUITAR HERNIA ", AND WAS ALSO BOOTED ON VARIOUS OTHER WEASEL'S CDS, CASSETTES AND LPS - THIS IS THE ORIGINAL AND ONLY OFFICIAL FORMAT RELEASE OF THIS MUSIC - INCLUDES THE ORIGINAL GUITAR WORLD FOLD-OUT HEAVY TYPE OF PAPER SONG INFORMATON, AND OTHER INFORMATION FRONT INSERT - GUITAR WORLD PRINTED LABELS ON THE CASSETTE - GW OO2 - SEE THE PHOTOS THAT CAN BE ENLARGED -  ANOTHER CRAPPY SUMMER RERUN OF LEAVE IT TO BEAVER ON TV TONIGHT. DETAILS POOTED FORTH DOWN DE BOTTOM. HERE'S THE ORIGINAL " THE GUITAR WORLD ACCORDING TO FRANK ZAPPA " CASSETTE RELEASE THAT, HAD YEZ RESPONDED TO AN AD IN THE JUNE 1987 ISSUE OF GUITAR WORLD MAGAZINE, AND SENT THEM SOME MONEY INSTEAD OF BEING A CHEAP SWINE, YOU WOULDA' RECEIVED THIS COOL CASSETTE TAPE WITH SOME INCREDIBLE FRANK ZAPPA GUITAR SOLOS, AND WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO LATER RENT OUT YOUR WIFE BY THE HOUR IN ORDER TO BE ABLE TO GET THE MONEY TO BUY THE SAME MUSIC THAT WAS OFFICIALLY RECORDED AND RELEASED ON THIS CASSETTE, INSTEAD OF GIVING YOUR MONEY TO SOME WEASEL WHO'D SELL YA SOME CRAPPY BOOTLEG CD OR LP COPY. SIDE ONE CONTAINS: SLEEP DIRT - FRIENDLY LITTLE FINGER - { EXCERPT FROM } REVISED MUSIC FOR GUITAR AND LOW BUDGET ORCHESTRA - THINGS THAT LOOK LIKE MEAT. SIDE TWO CONTAINS: DOWN IN DE DEW - A SOLO FROM HEIDELBERG - A SOLO FROM COLOGNE - A SOLO FROM ATLANTA. BOTH SIDES OF THE TAPE PLAY PERFECT. THE FRONT ACCORDIAN FOLD  HEAVY PAPER TYPE OF INSERT HAS A LITTLE YELLOWING, { HEY, IT'S ACTUALLY THE ORIGINAL 21 YEAR OLD INSERT, AND NOT SOME CRAPPY BOOT MADE BY SOME POTATO HEAD IN IDAHO YESTERDAY }. NO RIPS OR HOLES. NOT EVEN ANY INDENTATIONS. THE ACTUAL CASSETTE IS ENCASED IN A CLEAR CASE WITH PRINTED GUITAR WORLD LABELS. NO ACTUAL WEAR ON THE PLASTIC CASSETTE SHELL THAT I CAN SEE, A LITTLE BUBBLING UNDER THE LABELS NEAR THE TOP EDGE OF SIDE TWO, AND THE BOTTOM EDGE ON SIDE ONE. HEY, THESE LABELS WERE ORIGINALLY APPLIED WITH GLUE TO THE CASSETTE CLEAR PLASTIC SHELL SURFACE. NO RIPS OR ANYTHING ON THESE ORIGINAL LABELS. THIS SUCKER IS RARE, THE ACTUAL ORIGINAL CASSETTE IS VERY SELDOM SEEN FOR SALE. THE PLASTIC CASSETTE CASE HAS A FEW LIGHT SURFACE MARKS / SCUFFS. HOWEVER, UNLIKE THE EVER WIDEING CRACK ON YOUR CAVERNOUS BEHIND, THERE'S NO CRACKS ON THIS SUCKER. PAYMENT ONLY BY PAYPAL OR A MONEY ORDER IN US DOLLARS. NO STINKIN' E-CHECKS!!!, OR ANY OTHER KINDS OF CHECKS THAT DO OR DO NOT EMMIT ANY ODOR. PAYMENT FROM OUTSIDE OF THE USA BY PAYPAL ONLY. IF YOU PLAN TO USE PAYPAL, PAY FOR THE ITEM WHEN YOU PURCHASE OR WIN IT. I'LL TELL YA' FOLKS, THOSE MISERABLE EXCUSES ARE GETTING OLD, SUCH AS, BUT NOT LIMITED TO: " WHILE REMOVING MY PANTS IN THE RESTROOM AT THE LOCAL BUS STATION, THE SENATOR ACCIDENTALLY PUSHED MY PANTS INTO THE TOILET AND MY WALLET GOT FLUSHED AWAY ", " MY MISTRESS SAYS THAT I'M BECOMING MORE OF A FOUL OAF EVEN AFTER THE PUNISHMENT SESSIONS, THERE-FORE I'LL NEED THE EXTRA MONEY THAT I HAD BEEN PLANNING TO USE BUYING THIS ITEM AND WILL HAVE TO GIVE IT TO HER, SO THAT MY SESSIONS OF BENDING OVER WHILE REMOVING THOSE RUBBER PANTS THAT I'M FORCED TO WEAR AND GETTING MY ENORMOUS BUTTOCKS BEAT WITH A COPY OF ROLLING STONE CAN INCREASE ", " MY WIFE FINALLY GOT TIRED OF STICKING MY BALLS IN A VICE EVERY TIME THAT I HAD PURCHASED ANOTHER ZAPPA ITEM, SO SHE FINALLY LEFT AND TOOK MY BALLS WITH HER. NOW I'LL NEED THE MONEY TO GO BUY SOME NEW BALLS ". EVEN IF SOME, IF NOT ALL OF THESE OUTRAGEOUS EXCUSES ARE TRUE. PAYMENT MUST BE RECEIVED WITHIN 10 DAYS OF THE PURCHASE DATE IF SENDING A MONEY ORDER. JUST LET ME KNOW SO THAT I'LL QUIT MY INSISTENT COMPLAINING TO E-BAY, ALL TH WHILE TELLING THEM THAT YOU, YES I'M TALIKIN' 'BOUT YOUR ENORMOUS BEHIND, ARE JUST ONE MORE IN A LONG LINE OF NON-PAYING JACK O' LOAVES. $3.00 FOR FIRST CLASS MAIL SHIPPING IN THE USA. $4.00 FOR AIR AIL SHIPPING TO CANADA. $8.00 FOR AIR MAIL SHIPPING TO ANY OTHER LOCATION IN THE WORLD. SEND AN E-MAIL WITH THE USUAL STUPID QUESTIONS, { OK, HOPEFULLY FOR THE LAST TIME: YES, FRANK ZAPPA WAS THAT GUY WHO JUST COULDN'T RESIST SITTING ON TOILETS } AND CHECK OUT MY OTHER FRANK ZAPPA AND THE MOTHERS OF INVENTION, CAPTAIN BEEFHEART { DON VAN VLIET } AND THE MAGIC BAND, JETHRO TULL, PINK FLOYD, JIMI HENDRIX, STEVE VAI, WILD MAN FISCHER, KING CRIMSON, THE GTO'S { GIRLS TOGETHER OUTRAGEOUSLY WITH TE VERY SEXY PAMELA DES BARRES }, MOUNTAIN, WITH THE LEGENDARY FELIX PAPPALARDI AND THE EXTREMLY FAT LESLIE WEST,BLUE CHEER WITH THE EXTREMLY LEGENDARY DICKIE PETERSON, AND A WHOLE SLEW OF OTHER ARTISTS CURRENTLY COLLECTING DIGITAL DUST IN MY E-BAY STORE.  WELL THERE YOU ARE AGAIN, SITTING AT YOUR MISERABLE LITTLE DESK AT WORK, IN YOUR MISERABLE LITTLE CHAIR, INSIDE OF YOUR MISERABLE GREY ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING UGLY OFFICE, WATCHING THAT MISERABLE LITTLE CLOCK AND WONDERING IF YOUR BOSS HAS ALREADY BANGED THAT NEW SECRETARY IN THE STENO POOL, ALL THE WHILE ALSO HOPING THAT YOU'LL GET HOME IN TIME TO WATCH THE LATEST EPISODE OF " LEAVE IT TO BEAVER ". WELL TODAY IS YOUR LUCKY DAY MY SON { WELL NOT THAT LUCKY, BECAUSE YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE OF GETTING IN THE DRAWERS OF THAT NEW SECRETARY, I MEAN WHY DO YOU THINK THAT YOUR BOSS HIRED HER IN THE FIRST PLACE? }. HOWEVER FOR THE SECOND QUESTION, I, REV. A. WEST, HAVING SOME SERIOUS CONNECTIONS INSIDE OF THE MAJOR NETWORKS, CAN AT LEAST INFORM YOU ABOUT TONIGHT'S " LEAVE IT TO BEAVER " EPISODE. IN TONIGHT'S EPISODE WALLY CLEAVER, { PLAYED BY TONY DOW } AND EDDIE HASKELL { PLAYED BY ALICE COOPER }, ARE TRYING TO THINK UP SOME WAYS TO RAISE MONEY FOR THE NEW SCHOOL FOOTBALL UNIFORMS. SO THEY START THINKING AND SAY " GEE, WE COULD ALWAYS MAKE SOME FAST CASH SELLING CRACK TO THE OTHER STUDENTS AT SCHOOL, BUT WE COULD GET CAUGHT ". THEN EDDIE GETS A GREAT IDEA  AND SAYS " HEY WALLY, I KNOW, LET'S GET THAT DUMB BEAVER TO STAND OUT THERE ON THE CORNER AND SELL IT FOR US ". YEAH WALLY SAYS, HE'S SURE DUMB ENOUGH TO DO IT. SO THEY FIND THE BEAVER { PLAYED BY JERRY MATHERS } HANGING AROUND SOMEWHERE AS USUAL AND SAY " HEY BEAV, JUST GO TAKE THESE LITTLE BAGGIES OF ROCK AND SELL EM' TO PEOPLE AS THEY DRIVE BY, THEY'LL WANT EM' FO' SURE AND WE'LL RAISE SOME MONEY FOR SCHOOL ". SO THE BEAVER SAYS " GEE, THAT'LL BE SWELL ", AND GOES OUT TO STAND ON THE CORNER TRYING TO SELL THEM. HOWEVER, OFFICER BUTZIS { PLAYED BY AL MALKIN } DRIVES BY AND SEES WHAT THE BEAV IS UP TO. SO HE TURNS AROUND AND PARKS ACROSS THE STREET WHILE CALLING IN BACK UP. SOON, SOME UNMARKED POLICE CARS ARRIVE AND TAKE THE BEAVER INTO CUSTODY. LATER, WHEN THE BEAVER SEES THE JUDGE { PLAYED BY LARRY FISCHER }, HE STICKS THE BEAVER INTO A JUVENILE DETENTION CENTER TO AWAIT HIS HEARING. BUT WHEN BEAVER ARRIVES AT THE DETENTION CENTER, HE GETS ASSIGNED TO SHARE A CELL WITH JOHN, { PLAYED BY JOHN HOLMES } WHO STICKS IT TO BEAV IN HIS MISERABLE LITTLE BEHIND ALL NIGHT LONG. SO NOW THAT YOU KNOW WHICH EPISODE OF " LEAVE IT TO BEAVER " WILL BE BROADCAST TONIGHT. NO NEED TO RACE HOME TO WATCH IT, AND NOW YOU'LL HAVE A LITTLE MORE FREE TIME TO VISIT MY E-BAY STORE: SIR RICHARD PUMP A LOAF'S BAKERY. THE ADMISSION IS STILL FREE. SO WADDA YEZ WAITIN' FOR, HUH?  Place a Bid!